The not so glorious adventures of monster hunter
by FluffehPhear
Summary: Come along and enjoy the travels of a not so serious monster hunter and his companion.
1. The beginning

CH.1: i want to be a monster hunter!

A thin woman dragged herself along a beaten dirt path, her head held low "oh come on Darius why do we have to go so far!!" she whined to a lean man wearing wearing purple scales crafted from garuga hide. He adorned the ring known has sword saint piercing. On his back he carried an epitah blade and a frost edge on his side , two buckles holding the shield and the epitah blade togethor.

And his short,wavey brown hair and chiseled face made him a handsome man "because I dont feel like risking my life just to save you from an hour of walking!, your not living the life of a noble anymore" The girl clearly wore a purchased full vespoid U and a honeycomber strapped to her back. She groaned and let her curly violet hair fall past her shoulders has she reluctantly trudged with a new complaint every step of the way.

She stopped her musings an hour later when she realised Darius was an expert in ignorance "hey Darius" she asked. "What" he replied uninterested "umm.. wheres the ladys room" She said quickly-her face heating up. Darius stopped walking abrubtly. He covered his face so she wouldn't see his features scrunched up in the effort not to laugh. "err...just go behind a bush or something". She looked at him has if he lost his mind " I am a proper lady and I will not..." Look you go behind a bush or wait until we kill the khezu and go home" he interupted, agitated

"I hate the wilderness" she said but dragged herself to a clump of bushes. Darius walked over to a nearby rock and plopped down on it breathing heavily. He didn't like to admit it but carrying around all of his equipment wasn't has easy and Rosane thought. "AHHHHHHH" Rosane screamed, Darius lept to his feet, epitah blade in hand, he rushed to the tree to find her scared out of her skin by a velocidrome. He heaved his blade and disembowled the velocidrome before in a quick uppercut of the massive blade

Darius walked back to the rock dragging his stained sword slightly off the ground. "where are you going?" Rosane called after him "dont you have to go?" he replied. She quickly turned a bright red but put on her best look of arrogance "just hand me some new clothes" she demanded putting has much venom into her words has she possibly could. Darius stopped for a moment and turned around slowly grunting with the effort not to laugh. "HAHAHAHAHAHA" he howled out unable to contain it,he soon found himself rolling on the ground holding his side.

"whats so funny" she demanded, "i didn't pack you any clothes". But instead of getting angry she let a smile catch her lips. "you know what that means.." she said in a in a dangerously sweet voice..

*10 minutes later*

The two entered the cave, Rosane shrugged "the khezu should be here right?" she said shifting the purple scales on her armour" and how the hell do you wear this stuff?" Darius now only clad in his boxer shorts shivered through the icy chill in the cave "o-oh i-i g-get around" he said through chattering teeth. He stared down at the floor to see some droplets falling form the ceiling but when they hit the ground they didn't splash they evaporated leaving a trail of heat.

Darius looked up slowly to see a large white blob attatched to the ceiling. "R-Rosane load up your g-gun" Rosane began to answer but was cut short by the shriek of the khezu has it prepared to fall. "RUN!!!" Darius shouted has he jumped only inches away from death...

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Part 2: welcome home

Darius splashed into a puddle on the cave forgetting the cold and grime that chilled his body. "Hold this" he said heaving his epitah blade torwards her. "say wha-AAAH" she yelled has the heavy weapon hit her, forcing her to the ground. Darius unsheathed his frost edge and ran to the khezu's side just barely avoiding its bite. He leaped torwards its back and jammed the sword into its leg. the khezu shrieked in pain but its instict kicked in and attached its tail to the ground while a blue crackling aura surrounded the ghostly flesh. "oh crap" Darius gasped,leaping out of harms way.

"umf" he grunted has he tripped over a large rock he look down to see Rosane squirming and struggling beneath his sword. "just what the hell are you doing down there!" he yelled "oh no i just like to be crushed against your stupid sword" she mumbled. The khezu stopped glowing and its mouth sounded the familier crackling of electricity. Darius stood there terrified,awaiting his death, BANG!! a shot was heard. He looked down to see Rosane still on the floor but with her gun in hand. He shifted his attention to the khezu to see his epitah blade flying through the air and through the dimlight he saw a scorched dent in the anchient blade.

SPLAT!!, the khezu toppled to the ground the masive chunk of metal lodged deep into its brain cavity. The khezu gurgled slightly and died "you saved me" he said smiling at her. She smiled back "you owe me" she replied. He turned and began to leave the cave when he heard a grunting noise. He turned around to see her pushing and then attempting to drag the corpse. "you do know you dont just drag the carcass home" he said with an expressionless face.

"Well then what do you suppose to do with it mister i know everything" she This he grabbed her hand and placed his carving knife in her hand through the skinning pattern engraved in his brain but all the while he did not notice her blushing,bright pink face.

(at their home -town)

Darius walked through the hotel hallways and knocked on Rosane's door."come in.." he heard but when he opened the door what he found was Rosane in ablack, revealing knightgown he tried to pull away but he couldn't she looked sculpted by the gods the luscious curves adorning her thighs, the impressive bust he couldn't advert his gaze. "i found a way you can repay me.." she said smirking smugly and at that moment Darius knew this wasn't going to be what he expected. The manager walked down the hallways intending to check up on his resident hunters. He leaned torwards the door to hear a man grunting he burst through the door to find...

The manager burst through the door to find... Darius polishing Rosanes gun...but in a womans nightgown!? He moaned again "WHY ME!!!!" the manager shifted his attention to see Rosane wrapped up in a blanket,pink in the face grunting with the effort to not burst out laughing. To late.. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA" She couldn't stop herself she laughed and laughed she laughed so hard she fell off the bed. She laughed so loud that she woke up the other residents. They marched out of there rooms and surrounded the manager and peered into the room.

Rosane was still laughing, she was laughing so much she didn't realize that she rolled herself out of the blanket. Darius looked around.. the entire hotel was looking at them... "Ummmmm..." he stuttered *think darius think what can i do to get out of this..* he thought to himself. "where-where am i.. ugh my head i really should stop going to the bar at night..who are you people..what are you staring at?" he stammered with a with a surprisngly realistic slurred voice.

The crowd looked at themselves nodding and agreeing. The crowd scattered and eventually the manager left without a word. Darius sighed with relief "hey Rosane" he said wearily. Rosane had stopped laughing long enough to say "yeah". "Next time im going to die, let me"

(In the morning)

Darius strapped on his polished and sharpened epitah blade and left the room, But on his he met a grisly,lanky teenager who was snickering at him and pointing. Darius unsheathed his blade has fast has he could and held it horizantaly at the boys neck "now what were you going to say.." he asked innocnetly and his eyes just promised pain if he answered incorrectly. But without waiting for an answer he sheathed his weapon and stalked onward to meet up with some of his buddies he was sick of being around his insufferable partner.

Has he walked around town he saw a weapon shop and walked briskly torwards it. "I would like that damned devil slicer now" He spat at the weapon crafter while handing over a few thunder sac's and other items including a hefty amount of money. After that he was told to wait about 3 days for his weapon

Darius walked onwards ignoring a few other stalls until he reached the guild hall. Hunters were catching up on old times,the bards were playing a merry tune and the drunkards were doing what they do best.


	2. Chapter 2

Heres chapter two( I am looking for beta readers! And has i forgot to mention in chapter one this is my first story. Anyways R&R! )

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He peered through the dim light of the hall and saw a grizzled face. "Hey Snowend!!" he called to a verteran warrior in gravios amrour, a wolf torrent strapped to his back. Has Darius sat down he peered at his long time friend. While he was just under fifty summers he had shaggy white hair and a thick scar was carved across his face. Darius was about to mention the aformentioned scar when slurred voice caught the words. He looked over to see another face he recognised. "Hey sakura!" long time no see" he said with a forced smile but she didn't seem to hear him or simply ignored the greeting. She smiled and staggered forward slowly when she collapsed on the floor. Darius grabbed her with a sigh and propped her aganst a wall "wonder how many drinks she had" Snowend just peered at him with a glint of humor in his eyes.

Snowend and Darius exchanged a few quick recoutns of their past missions. Snowend tapped the scar has he meentioned bloody battle between him and a large bullfango when a deafening roar was hear that was quickly followed by an ear-splitting shriek. They both rushed out side and staggered has the ground shook. A night black diablos suddenly burst from the ground, leaving a gaping fissure behind it. It roared again and charged at a child and Darius recognized him has the youth who was making fun of him at the hotel. They both watched from the shadows has the Diablos gored him with its massive tusks but not killing him and using its large tongue managed to break off his lower body tearing him apart while it hungrily gulped down the remaina.

Darius glanced at the diablos quickly, his eyes shifting has he devised a plan. He knew his still damaged epitah blade would be worthless against this creature, He doubted it would even cut into its hide. Rosane shifted beside him, loading her gun has quietly has she could. "Ok Rosane, this guys going to be tough so can you distract him long enough for me to get to the hotel?" Darius inquired. Rosane looked at the blood-soaked maw of the Diablos has it sniffed the air for its next kill. His earlier victim unrecognizable through the miniscule pile of guts.

Rosane nodded has her heart leaped to her throat and she grabbed her gun,shakily aimed a cluster shot. The large bullet whizzed through the air and embbeded ito the diablos's crest. BANG! the bullet erupted into a mass of explosions rupturing its horn sending the mass of bone spiraling to the ground and skewering a pig. Darius seeing his chance bolted has fast has he could. With the diablos still howling in rage Darius dashed across the dusty gravel that covered the ground.

30 meters... The diablos recovered from its shock...20 meters... The diablos let out an roar of blood lust...10 meters...The diablos charged with eyes ablaze. Darius leaped into the building the moment the diablos rammed into its sturdy walls just barely missing darius. He scrambled across the horn and up the stairs and through the halls until he found his item box. Darius tore through the assorted weapons and armour until he found what he was looking for...

Darius grasped the golden shield and the silver blade , gleaming in the dim candle light. Darius admired his prize possesion for a split second and then rushed to the roof of the building. darius stared down at the diablos glaring up at him, eagerly licking its toothed beak. Darius glared back has he grasped his blade with both hands. Darius leaped off the building, weapon blazing fiercly in the morning sun has the diablos raised its mouth to devour him. Both shrieking furiously has the two worlds of man and beast collided...

Darius plunged torwards the diablos the wind screaming in his ears. The diablos lugned forward mouth agape, Darius suddenly realizing his mistake began to panic but it was to late has he plummeted into the creatures mouth forcing it to swallow him whole. Rosane watched in horror has her friend plummeted into the monsters gullet.

Sakura rushed out of the guild hall a pair of purple bladed fans in hand. She arrived just to see The last of Darius go into the beast. Her weapons fell and she dropped to her knee's a look of raw horror and sorrow on her soon replaced her anguish with pure bubbling rage, "you..bitch" Rosane said quietly, aiming her gun and loading it quickly with bullet and this one specialized for diablos. She charged managing to keep a steady jog torwards the menace even with the heavy gun in hand.

The Diablos suddenly replaced its roar of triumph with cries of pain has it was onslaughted with a hail of bullets. It retreated into the ground and fled "so..thats it then" Rosane said weairly dropping her weapon,suddenly losing her balance. She couldn't help but letting a lone tear slide down her cheek. "no..this can't be happening" she whispered shakily, 'thump', Rosane lifted her head slightly to see a bloody blade erupting from the ground,then a shield. And eventually Darius's head popped up from the gravel. Darius crawled out thick with slime, blood and dirt clinging his body, "did ya miss me?" Darius said with a weak smile. 'SMACK!' Darius fell down on the dirt with a large red handprint on his face. "what was that for.." Darius whined, "dont you..ever..scare me like that again" she sighed. "I need a vacation..." Darius moaned quietly before stress and exertion sent him to a exausted sleep.

Part 3: beach party

Darius walked into the hotel, scanning a scroll that the guild had sent him.  
"Darius, we have studied your hunts and activties and the board has agreed that you have earned a vaction!. due to certain events you will be sent to an island out of the region. You are only to take the essentials( food, water,shelter) and have a nice time!  
sincerly  
The Guild.."  
Darius read. While he was putting away the letter Rosane scampered down the stairs in a blue bikini a straw hat covering her curly purple hair. "alright!, its about time for vacation, im ready for fun in the sun!" she chirped. Darius covered his face wondering how she can be a fire breathing wyvern and then a second later she reflects a child.

(one hour later)

"There it is!" the old explorer shouted over the noise that the blimp created. Darius peered over the edge to see a lush jungle. a beach at the edge, waves lapping at the sun-baked sand. Has they lowered to land a sudden blast ice destroyed the pressure and sent them crashing to the ground. Darius groaned in pain and crawled through the folds of cloth to see the old man cowering and pointing at the gleaming gray dragon that stood before them."th..the steel dragon!" the explorer stammered has a silver dot burst from the skies at break neck speed and rammed into the dragon. Darius stood in awe has the silver wyvern stood defiantly against its larger dragon bretheren. the rathalos growled, flexing muscles and flicking its diamond embedded tail in an attempt to scare off its clearly superior foe. The dragon stood un-impressed has it licked its maw and lunged forth

Darius quickly moved out of the folds of the baloon his eye on the rathalos that had come to save them. Rosane managed to free herself from the folds haswell unknown to the danger that waited her. But has she emerged from the broken balloon she froze has the tension built up in the air. He noticed that the gray dragon heaved its chest has it prepared to unleash a ball of fire. The rathalos followed suit but it was to late has the dragon quickly spit out its attack. But what surprised darius the most was that its attack was not fire related at all, in fact, it was the opposite. He watched has the presumed king of the wyverns was unceremoniously sent flying backwards to the sea, frozen solid.

Darius gaped at the creature has it grunted triumphetly but he ripped his vision from it has he heard a barely audible thump was heard. darius gllanced has a small sphere rolled infront of the dragon, "oh shit!, duck!!!" he screamed and covered the awe-strucken traveler and Rosane has the object exploded in a flash of light. Darius looked up has soon has he heard the tell tale sighns of a succesful flash bomb. He looked up oblivious to the murderous intent that was radiating off of the dirty, mud-encrusted, Rosane. Has he looked up he was taken aback, there before his eyes was Snowend. Fully clad in his armour and his hammers ears up showing that he was about to unleash a devastating attack, but not only him. Sakura was there aswell with one of HIS weapons another one of his hard earned weapons the eternal schisms, he barely opened his mouth before they set to work, Snowend ran torwards the blinded beast and using the hammers beak,spun and crushed one of its legs.

Sakura wasted no time to demonize her weapons has she to jogged over to the fallen dragon. She raised one of her blades and through alifetime of conditioning and a month of memorization unleashed the most devastating series of attacks that no weapon could match. Darius covered his eyes from the carnage, even though he was a respectably powerful hunter he had never used the combo and never liked to watch it. when the sounds of ripping flesh and screeches of pain subsided he lowered his hand. It wasn't a pretty sight there stood or more like kneeled stood a panting sakura her entire front view a cascade of crimson wielding soaked unrecognizable weapons and the dragons stomach was an equally unrecognizable mass of gore.

Snowend grinned and patted her roughly on the back his hammers beak placed horizantally on the ground has he leaned against it still grinning. Darius looked royally disgusted and rosane just lost her lunch. Sakura smiled sheepishly at them Darius and Rosane also noticed that her teeth had a fine coat of crimson on them too.


End file.
